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The Story So Far…

Episode 1: The Plight of Sparrowight

The original adventurers arrive in the port city of Rosegate after travelling from a distant continent to Iberis from the western sea.
During a raging thunderstorm, the party travelled further inland but ended up stranded just on the outskirts of the small town of Sparrowight.

A friendly hermit, Rashbagh, took in the adventurers for the night and warned them of strange goings on in Sparrowight. The party travelled to the small town, and quickly noticed open hostility to Keith Jr., due to his elven blood. Whilst relaxing that evening in the tavern owned by Margaret Lupius, Keith attempted to question the locals about their openly racist attitude, but ended up being bottled by Bruce Lupius.
After failing at entertaining the locals, the party noticed an elf sat in a dark corner, the elf introduced himself as Faolin Elvenson, and warned the adventurers of the goblin militia brought into place by mayor Drothmera, which seemed to coincide with the sudden racist agenda. Faolin asked the party to rescue his friend, local noble Araldír Thornheart, who had been arrested by Drothmera and sent to prison. Before being able to reveal more information however, Faolin was murdered by Bruce Lupius… his body was then looted by the party.

Deciding to visit the prison to meet Araldír Thornheart, the party first had to sneak past the prison’s receptionist, whom they named ‘Hag’. Evading ‘Hag’ and finding Araldír, they discovered that he has been bound by magic, the source of which was Drothmera. Upon leaving the prison, the adventures were attacked by a small group of goblins, who ended up burned alive, stabbed, and their brains liquefied by Chanandler Roar.

The adventures next made their way to the store, owned by sex-fiend, with a hastily-invented name, Corpicaul Corpicaulus. Who explained to the party that Drothmera was clearly behind the mysterious circumstances, and wished the adventures to save the town. Corpicaul also revealed that Margaret Lupius and Bruce Lupius haboured racist views far before Drothmera was elected mayor, and it was down to them that the Tiefling was elected in the first place.

After becoming firm friends with Corpicaul Corpicaulus, the party left to confront Drothmera and her guards. The goblins were eliminated instantly, and Keith Jr. demanded to know Drothmera‘s plan, which she explained briefly before being shot by one of Keith’s arrows, leading to a final battle wherein which Drothmera was killed.
With the spell broken, the townsfolk went back to normal, seemingly with no memory of the events of the last few weeks since Drothmera was mayor. Corpicaul Corpicaulus offered a discount to any adventurer from the party, and Araldír Thornheart took the adventurers to Thornheart Keep a few miles east of Sparrowight, to make it the group’s new base of operations.

Episode 2: The siege of Thornheart Keep

Late that night, Araldír Thornheart recieved a vision from the god Heironeous warning him of an oncoming assault on Thornheart Keep from a horde of goblins loyal to Drothmera. After evacuating Thornton and keeping it’s citizens safe within the keep, Araldír Thornheart and the original adventurers manned the wall against the oncoming army.
Utilising their bows and the wall-mounted ballistae, the group repelled a third of the goblin host before Greasy Zook Timbers realised that there had to be another way, and persuaded the goblin hoard to allow the keep’s fate to rest on the outcome of a 1-1 duel to the death with their leader.
The goblins accepted and the party nobly elected Araldír Thornheart to be the one to defeat the Orge leading the assault.

The battle began, and using the power of his god, and being inspired by Zook’s special bardic inspiration song’ Araldír was able to smite the ogre, which sent the remaining goblins running back from where they had came. The next morning, Araldír sends out letters to would-be adventures to join the party.

Episode 3: The Werewolf conspiracy

Several days later, the party decided to investigate rumours of bandits having taken control of Sparrowight. After a distraction in the form of an improvised lesson to the children in the nursery, Keith Jr. was able to sneak in and kidnap the teacher Ms. Wunkshuft, who revealed that she was being forced to brainwash the children by bandits who always came at midnight to check that their will had been carried out.

That night, the party set a trap, which resulted in four bandits being killed, but not before revealing that they were hiding out in a cave south of the town. Before heading to the cave, the party stopped at Corpicaul’s store, and met his daughter Stephoniepaul Corpicaulus. She confirmed to the party that Bruce Lupius was the leader of the bandits, having had his plans thwarted by Drothmera’s death. Stephoniepaul also revealed that there was supposed to be a rare magical artefact within the cave.

After upgrading their equipment, the party headed to the cave, defeating more bandits on the way. Entering the cave they evaded numerous traps and dangers, dispatched more bandits and eventually confronted Bruce Lupius who revealed himself to be a Werewolf. After a long battle, Bruce was defeated, and Greasy Zook Timbers found the magical artifact, which he used to transform his badger follower, ‘Thats’ the Badger, into a powerful Dire-Badger.

Upon returning to Sparrowight, the party was congratulated, and Chanandler Roar was given a powerful greatclub as a gift from Stephoniepaul Corpicaulus, who now calls him ‘DragonBae’.

Episode 4: Rallying the Troops

Back in Thornheart Keep, Araldír Thornheart stresses the need for troops to aid in the upcoming battles. The party is joined by Halfling rouge Corrin Underbourgh who has heard news of Araldír Thornheart‘s intentions to create a band of heroes.
Araldír sends the party to Harroldren where they learn of a mercenary group of Weretigers camped further north known as The Striped Guard. Before heading to the encampment of The Striped Guard, the heroes came across ’Hag’ who had started a small potion shop in the centre of Harroldren. Inviting them into her shop in order to give them gifts as an apology for her actions under the spell in Sparrowight Hag began to rummage amongst the clutter of her poorly kept store. Unfortunately being almost entirely blind, Hag accidentally caused a heavy bookshelf to fall down, straight towards her. Miss Chanandler Roar heroically leaps forward to catch the bookshelf, however in a compulsive urge to cause mischief, Corrin Underbourgh throws a bag of ball-bearings beneath Chanandler’s feet, causing him to slip and miss the bookshelf, which consequently crushed ‘Hag’, killing her instantly.
After a battle with some goblins over a bridge, the party manage to persuade a cowardly goblin, Tumpletrunk Trumbletunk, to become their ally inside the ruins of Fort Trost, which had been infested with Gnolls, who commanded the goblin host that attacked Thornheart Keep.
After releasing Tumpletrunk, the party made their way to The Striped Guard’s encampment, where they met Second in command J’sarr The Lost, who befriended them, and explained that their commander T’trask D’narrh had been acting strangely, not allowing his warriors to attack the monsters and enemies which had been roaming free of late from the north.
Meeting T’trask D’narrh in his pavilion, it quickly became clear that T’trask was being bribed by ‘King’ Hackett, the Queen’s step brother who has gone rogue and is attempting to usurp the throne. The Striped Guard were being forbidden to attack Hackett’s mercenary gnolls and goblins, in order to distract his sister Queen Adreanna‘s troops.
A battle quickly ensued and T’trask was slain. J’sarr The Lost was appointed the new commander of the Striped Guard, and agreed to aid the party in assaulting Fort Trost.

Episode 5: Assault of Fort Trost

The party returned to Thornheart Keep with The Striped Guard, and began preparing for the assault of Fort Trost. Along the route back to Thornheart Keep, the party was joined by a roaming barbarian marauder called Sun Zi the Fucked Off, who agreed to join the company for glory.
Araldír Thornheart invited the party and J’sarr The Lost to join the war council as his commanders to discuss how they should conduct the siege of Fort Trost.
Due to some surprising charismatic arguments, it was agreed that they would construct a huge wooden violin to use as a ‘Trojan Horse’, with Miss Chanandler Roar and Greasy Zook Timbers hiding inside. Keith Jr. and Sun Zi the Fucked Off were to sneak through the sewers of the keep and open the gate, making it able for Araldír Thornheart and The Striped Guard to pour into the fort.

With the main force hiding out of sight from the fort, the trap was set and the Gnoll commander ordered his minions to bring in the huge violin ‘gift’. Whilst this distraction was taking place, Sun Zi the Fucked Off slipped undetected into the sewer, however Keith Jr. was spotted by guards on the wall. Managing to convince the guard that he was a sewer maintenance worker, he too entered the sewer and had the brilliant idea of ‘camouflaging’ himself by rolling about in the sewage and declaring “I’m a poo!”. This failed and he was left smelling foul and had to have Sun Zi “Piss the shit off of him”.

Meanwhile The Striped Guard began assaulting the walls of Fort Trost in preparation for the surprise attack from the giant violin and the sewers.

With an explosion, Greasy Zook Timbers and Miss Chanandler Roar sprung out of the violin and felled many gnolls and goblins using their skill in magic, Zook caused many enemies to fall from the wall and lie crippled in the courtyard below using his Grease powers.

Back in the sewer, Sun Zi the Fucked Off was almost climbing out of the privy overhead which served as the exit to the sewers, only to find himself looking up at the backside of a goblin preparing to relieve himself right onto Sun’s head. Taking his 10 foot, telescopic pole out from his pack, Sun Zi thrust upwards with critical success, skewering the goblin through the anus and right up and out of it’s mouth. Sun leapt up onto the privy seat and performed a victory dance. As Keith Jr. attempted to join Sun Zi on the privy, he stumbled and knocked the ten foot pole, causing the goblin’s corpse to slide down the pole and the goblin’s rectum connected with Keith Jr.‘s mouth. Unfortunately this happened just as Miss Chanandler Roar was using his telepathic ability to broadcast what was happening to Araldír Thornheart and J’sarr The Lost, who saw the whole thing, and henceforth, Keith Jr. was known as “Buttmuncher” by The Striped Guard.
However, in a moment of sadness, Keith Jr. recognised the anus that was touching his lips, it was that of their ally, Tumpletrunk Trumbletunk, who had been unknowingly slain by Sun Zi.

As the battle raged on, Zook, and Chanandler Roar managed to fell a great many enemies. Chanandler also ensured Sun Zi and Keith Jr.‘s escape from the privy by distracting a gnoll guard, by casting an illusion that the nearby stable was on fire. The gnoll rushed to fetch a bucket and began splashing water over the imaginary flames, whilst this was happening, Sun Zi the Fucked Off decided to use this opportunity to strike at the distracted guard. However Sun Zi tripped up and fell right into the fake fire, in the process, convincing himself that he was impervious to flame. Sun Zi leapt out of the fire, and though missing the gnoll, successfully terrified the creature as he appeared to the gnoll as a deamon of flame, before leaping back into the blaze “Like a salmon flinging itself up a waterfall.”
Amongst the chaos, Keith Jr. charged towards the fort’s gate, and leaping onto the lever, whilst busting out a sick keytar solo, managed to blow open the gate and every creature and ally in the area looked on in awe.
The rest of the allied force poured into the fort, and Sun Zi lead the charge into the main keep, slaying many gnolls in the process.

With the last of the enemies defeated, the party claimed Fort Trost as their own, and The Striped Guard began to rebuilt it as their new headquarters.

Episode 6: The Cult of The Eye

The party found themselves in a repaired Fort Trost, the striped guard taking up a semi-permanent residence there. Araldír Thornheart suggests that himself, Miss Chanandler Roar and Greasy Zook Timbers head to the trading town of Erilyn to collect supplies to maintain the defences of Thornheart Keep and Fort Trost.
As the three of them arrived at the town, they spent some time browsing the wares of the market, Zook purchased a ‘Ring of Invisibility’, whilst Chanadler Roar bought an amulet of feather fall and a cloak of heroic flapping.
Whilst exploring Erilyn, the party was approached by Ezmarelda Diomundus, who was a noble woman living in Erilyn. Ezmarelda, who was clearly in distress, begged the party to find her son Affrel, who had been missing for several days. Following leads, the party arrived at a tavern (The Crusty Arseflap), where they discovered a table frequented by local scholars, which on the underside, had directions to a cave on the outskirts of Erilyn.
Upon entering the cave, it became clear that the cavern was infested with members of the ‘Cult of the Eye’. Attacking and defeating several cultists, and even a mimic in the form of a door, the party continued through the cave, and ultimately ended up facing a Beholder, which was about to devour Affrel Diomundus. Defeating the Beholder, the party returned Affrel to his mother, and in her gratitude, she agreed to use her family’s influence and wealth to send regular supplies to Thornheart Keep.

Episode 7: The Griffon and the Eagle

Returning from Erilyn, the party stops off at the town of Novagard for some down time after their previous adventure. Greasy Zook Timbers heads to the local brothel to… relax, whilst the other adventurers head into the town’s tavern, The Twirling Pube. After terrifying the barman, and ordering meals, the party prepare for a night of leisure, Araldír Thornheart however uses his Divine Sense to discern the woes and motivations of those whom they are sharing the tavern with. Through this he discovers an old woman, weeping over her lost son, a youngish couple, arguing over their young boy of 15 (Jack) who had also gone missing recently, and two more unusual patrons. The first was the Tiefling Wolfgang Bowy, who despite not being aligned with the party, was clearly a capable warrior, and Araldír believed that the party could use his expertise in the coming adventures. So after a few curt words, Wolfgang was recruited into the party, with much help from Buttmuncher Keith Jr.. After agreeing to aid the young couple in finding their son, who often played in the nearby chalk quarry, Araldír approached the second unusual guest, a lone Aarakocra Azolin. Revealing to Araldír that he had been summoned to the mortal plane by a mysterious force, Azolin agreed to aid the party where he could in finding the child Jack, giving Wolfgang a set of pan-pipes which could summon him in times of need.
Heading to the quarry the adventurers descended and discovered a cave occupied by four local commoners, who immediately and without warning, attacked and knocked Keith Jr. unconscious. Furious, Araldír demanded that the commoners stand down, ignoring him however the commoners rounded on the new arrivals, resulting in them being blown apart and slain by the adventurers. Upon investigating the bodies, the party discovered a suspicious letter with the sigil of Lord Gaarr (The lord of Novagard) upon it.
Heading back into the town, the party were permitted entry into the Keep, where upon it became clear that this was simply a trap, and were attacked by Warg riders and cultists. The following battle was long and bloody, but eventually the party succeeded. Heading through a far door, the party were once again set upon by attackers, this time by two skeletons in a room framed by bones. Upon the wall in front of them was a counter, which once allowed to reach 0, opened the door and stopped the skeletons from respawning from the surrounding bones.
Exiting the room through another doorway, the party were once more assaulted by a band of cultists and one of their vicious leaders. Miss Chanandler Roar the Dragonborn released a pillar of flame, engulfing the assailants, whilst Keith Jr. “slayed them like a boss”, and even accessed his wild magic to cause himself to levitate to the ceiling.
Wolfgang Bowy decimated the cultist leader with an arrow to the head, and upon his corpse, found the Nail of Kalvar, an enchanted dirk with properties of paralysis.

Continuing through the Keep, they are confronted by Robert Webster, whom Araldír knew of and had met upon his travels whilst the necromancer still pretended to be a simple sage, before his descent deeper into evil. Robert mocked the party, informing them that he had already killed the boy Jack, as well as many others, Robert then vanished in a puff of smoke and cackle of laughter, leaving behind an enraged female Griffin and an enslaved Azolin.

Unwilling to outright kill the clearly enchanted foes, the party drew out the inevitable fight. Araldír tried with all of his might to snap the Aarokocra out of his trance, succeeding only briefly, whilst Keith Jr. attempted to tame the Griffin, with little success until he used an illusion to make himself appear as a male Griffin. Thus Keith Jr. Buttmuncher, now also bares the title of ‘Griffin Mounter’…
After a final assault on Azolin’s mind, Araldír breaks through the enchantment and releases him.
Unfortunately however, the Griffin was unable to be tamed, and was eventually killed by Miss Chanandler Roar‘s familiar, ’Wasp The Bee’. However with it’s last breathe, the griffin laid an egg…. who’s father is still in dispute.

Episode 7: The Defence of Oralay

Upon returning from Novagard, the party meets a distraught man on the road (Frank), his wife and son have just been killed by bandits that are terrorising a nearby village (Oralay). He begs the party to come back and train the villagers so that they are able to repel the bandits.

Upon arriving at the village, the party are confronted by Hrothgarr, a crotchety ex-mercenary who has thus far been the only one defending the village, until he lost his left hand in the last attack. He does not deem the adventurers capable enough to defend the village from those who bested him, and so challenges the ‘strongest’ member of the party to an arm wrestle. The party best Hrothgarr and he agreed to aid them in training the villagers as a militia.
The party are led to the local inn (The Longest Spoon), where they met Foolish Phil the barman, who the party attempted to convince had a different name, and succeeded.
Next the party must assemble the fighting-fit villagers. There is one young boy of 15 (Rowan) Who is eager to fight, but it turns out that he is lying about his age, his mother reveals that he is 15 and refuses to let him fight, the party must decide whether or not to let him. The party decided to train Rowan and let him fight, deeming him to be capable enough to fight.
Next the party conducted lectures on each of the core elements of defence, whilst failing in wisdom and intelligence, they succeeded in training the villagers in dexterity and strength.
After the lectures the party took on the villagers 3 on one and were victorious…. well done I guess?
After the training they get a room in the tavern to rest, that night, the bandit’s leader – a mage, sends a set of animated armour to kill them. The battle is bloody, but the party ultimately succeed.
The next morning the party manage to persuade the local forester to give them his “Backlog of woods, he had woods for days”, in order to construct palisades for the defence of the town.
After a returning to The Longest Spoon, the party prepare to rest. While they are there, Owen Gargleblast arrives in the tavern in a thick travellers cloak.
Gargleblast approaches Foolish Phil, and orders a drink, Phil asks him what brings him to town, and Owen responds that the activity that the party has caused has intrigued him, and he wishes to help the village. His voice is strange, he rolls his ’S’s. Phil is grateful and asks where Owen is from, and he replies a farm north of the village, Phil knows the farm, and could have sworn that it had been attacked weeks ago, but admits that he is very forgetful.
That night the party is once again attacked, this time by Owen Gargleblast who reveals himself to actually be a Shadow Demon, sent by ‘King’ Hackett to murder them, due to the mischief they have been causing to his plans. The party defeat the demon after a long and difficult battle, and are able to rest before the battle that awaited them.
That morning, the village is attacked by the bandits, due to all of the preparation provided by the adventurers, the village successfully repelled Hackett’s bandits with minimal casualties, and the party were revered as local heroes.

Episode 8: The Barbarian King

After a meeting with the Queen, our heroes decide to travel to the city of Magnolia to find out what happened to Dorset Payton, the diplomatic agent she sent weeks before to try to negotiate some sort treaty between the new leader and herself against Hackett. On the path to Magnolia the party see a dim light through the trees and approach it. There they find three Duergar children gathering up bloodstained armor. Araldir, identifying the creatures as inherently evil, decides to destroy them and together with Chanandler manage to kill two of them with the last child fleeing. The decide to rest at the campsite overnight and the next morning they head towards Magnolia again. Upon spotting a break in the trees, the party investigate and find an overturned carriage bearing the sigil of Queen Adreanna. Next to the carriage lay three corpses, one human, one dwarven and one Duergar. The party determine that they were slain by the three Duergar children and head off to the town.
Arriving in Magnolia, they notice it is a bustling dwarven city that extends into the mountains, where dwarves and Duergar seem to live together realtively peacefully. Clearly the dwarves are uncomfortable but the Duergar don’t seem to notice/mind. The party head straight for the shopping district, with their first stop to get some new armor. They are greeted by a Duergar which Chanandler attempts to intimidate for a while before learning that grey dwarfs that have been tortured underground for years by mind-flayers actually experience very little in the way of fear. Araldir has a new, crude set of plate mail commissioned to help protect him further in battle and the party head to the Alchemist. Inside, they meet a friendly dwarf known as ?Jorm Froststone?, who they take an instant liking to. As the dwarf shows off his fanciful potions and his magical paint set that can create 3D objects out of 2D drawings, Araldir invites the dwarf to come and work for him. The dwarf, convinced that he is moving to a bigger city and market excitedly says that he would be happy to and packs his stuff up.
The party head to the local inn and find a lone human in the bar slumped over a drink, he introduces himself as Ashir Ansai, a royal minstrel of the Queen’s, who travelled with Dorset Payton here on his diplomacy mission to keep him company. However when they arrived the Lord of this land (Gwornheim Blackfist) laughed at their idea of an allegiance and sent him back with some guards of his own to tell the Queen that he was going to be the King of Iberis and couldn’t care less about the petty squabbles between two rich brats of this kingdom. Gwornheim then supposedly took a set of pan pipes that Ashir was given by his mother and had Dorset assassinated. The party, knowing their priorities, pledge to get the pan pipes back.
As they leave the inn, a crowd approaches them, lead by a heavily armored dwarf with a black gauntlet and an eyepatch. Holding a Duergar child by the hand, he roars at the party “How dare you attack the children from my city!” Through a brief and confusing discussion with Gwornheim the party hear about a giant bird plaguing the lands and that the Queen has supposedly taken Gwornheim’s brother from him. Araldir threatens the dwarven lord one time too many and the entire party are restrained as he heaves his gauntlet into Araldir’s shoulder once, shattering his arm and nearly knocking him out. Gwornheim commands dogs sent by the Queen to claim more lives to leave at once.
The party retreats to the Alchemists and attempts to discuss events as Araldir rests. Chanandler seems confused by what happened and is concerned that they might not be after the right man. Keith Jnr, decides that the best course of action would be to win over the townspeople as they seem to have left a bad impression. He thinks they should eliminate the bird plaguing the city. He ends up buying some interesting supplies from a back-alley merchant, including a wand of fireball, a phoenix egg and an amulet of archery. Chanandler buys himself a cursed wooden box to play with.
When Araldir wakes, he seems to be driven by a bloodlust caused by a combination of a broken arm and his Oath of Vengeance, and declares that they can deal with the bird but then, they will crush Gwornheim for what he has done. The party lay a trap for the Roc as they hear he seems to be targeting supply carriages leaving Magnolia. Chanandler and Araldir hide in the carriage and Keith Jnr, hides prone next to the path. A Roc dives down from the sky flipping the cart over, as Keith looses an arrow into the Roc. An intense battle between bird and Half-elf/Dragon-man commences in which our heroes successfully burn down the forest on either side of the path and accidentally have Keith turn himself into a sheep who then slides down a greasy flaming path created by Zook to try to headbutt the Roc, missing wildly. The mighty Roc finally falls in battle and the companions attempt one by one to take a trophy back of the bird, slapping their blades into various sections of the bird until it is almost entirely butchered, ending with Araldir (having returned from peeing behind the overturned cart) who skillfully lops off a wing from the bird to take back to the town.
As the party return, Keith Jnr decides to retire for the evening to get some rest after experiencing the terror of being a flaming sheep. Araldir and Chanandler, driven by vengeance and a desire to return a man’s pipes respectively, march towards Gwornheims castle. On the way they are attacked by an assassin who dances around the party with east. Barely managing to land a solid blow on her, she determines them not ready to play with her yet and leaves them with her name, Christine Starrah of the King’s Scales (Hackett’s elite assassin squad).
Araldir and Chanandler finally confront Gwornheim at the castle in a 2v1 battle surrounded by Duergar. The party deftly land strong blows on the barbarian who laughs off the damage and strips off his armor into just his underwear. The faster and stronger dwarf catches the party off guard and Chanandler opens his wooden box and feels himself becoming revitalised. The box however also inflicted him with a ranged weapon curse, and as Chanandler went to fire a shaft from his crossbow he took was flung across the room at an equal velocity. Araldir, pummeled by Gwornheim, is brought to his knees in front of the mighty dwarf who punches him one last time, knocking the paladin to death’s door. The power of his goddess bestows upon him a rush, causing adrenaline to course through his good arm with enough strength to lift his sword one more time, decapitating the “barbarian king”.
Ashir pushes his way through the crowd and Chanandler returns the pan pipes to the man, and turns to help Araldir up. Ashir plays a sickening melody on the pipes, and the party find themselves thrown to the ground by a strong magical force. Ashir bursts into flames revealing himself to be a fire Genasi who has manipulated the group and people of Magnolia by summoning a Roc to kill Dorset Payton and Gwornheims brother who was sent back with Dorset for further negotiations, creating a feeling of hostility between the dwarves and the Queen. His melody becomes sharper as all the Duergar stiffen up and yell “All Hail King Hackett!” The Genasi laughs and opens a dimensional door above the party which engulfs them.

Episode 9: The Road to Falcon Hove

The party were ejected from the giant portal in the sky above the Lake. Keith who was left behind valiantly attempted to fight the genasi who had performed this little trick, however was entirely overpowered and also dropped over the lake. Araldir plunged into the lake and sinking began to strip off his armor to be able to swim. While this happened, Chanandler spread out and used a loophole in the wording of the spider climb spell given to him by the DM to land on the water’s surface like a water skater and move forwards until the spell wore off where he was then standing in shoulder-high water. Chanandler looked up to see Keith Jnr. performing a magnificent aerial ballet with two Duergar who got caught in the dimensional movement spell along with a stray dog. Keith managed to position one of the Duergar between himself and the ground as he crushed the Duergar on the soil beneath him, cushioning the blow. The other Duergar fell into the lake to not be seen again and the stray dog scattered across the ground due to the high velocity landing.
Both the unsubmerged party members were surprised to see a naked dwarf sprinting from the treeline towards the lake. Keith Jnr. dived in with the dwarf in an attempt to save Araldir, while Chanandler ran at the treeline, noticing another dwarf emerge. Chanandler bellowed “Friend or Foe” as he charged towards the Dwarf who jumped into the nearby tree and drew his bow at the dragon asking the same of him. Keith Jnr suddenly noticed as a submerged being that he too was wearing armor unfit for swimming in and also began to drown. Araldir having finally stripped off his new and shiny plate mail, began to swim upwards as he noticed a figure swimming towards him. The lack of oxygen began to affect his consciousness as he hallucinated the hand of Heireonous lifting him out of the water. As he broke the surface, so too did the naked dwarf, who has been helping him out. As Araldir was helped out of the water, all four dwarfs who had now appeared introduced themselves as Dwarven Gear: The unit who worked with Gwornheim to liberate the Duergar from the underdark and to help stop the previous lord of Magnolias constant use of corporal punishment. They introduced themselves as Parnell Smithdredger, Ivan Steelshadow, Eus Rubysmiter and Bry-Ahn The Blessed, and they regailed in the tales of Gwornheim and how magnificent he was. Keith Jnr decided to tell the dwarfs that maybe Gwonheim had lost it, which Dwarven Gear did not take kindly to. They shackled the party and took them to Magnolia to see the city now abandoned by all. They pressed Keith some more, who admitted they were the ones to kill Gwornheim but also that they were manipulated by a powerful Genasi. The members of Dwarvern Gear decided to sleep on their decision on what to believe from the party and they went to bed.
Araldir woke in the middle of the night to see the members leaving. They explained to him that they were leaving them here and gave Araldir the key but asked he wait for a while to unshackle himself. They explained they were headed to Falcon Hove to meet with a powerful friend of theirs who might know more about the Genasi, and they would bring the party but a couple of the members (namely the newbie Bry-Ahn who was very very excited to meet Gwornheim for the first time) need some time to cool off. Dwarven Gear ride off on their mounts.
As dawn breaks, Araldir unshackles himself and the party and they start to make a long walk to Falcon Hove as that seemed to be where the plot was going. On the way the party were attacked by four bandits laying in the ash of the forest that used to run on the western side of the road to Magnolia. The party still weary from the previous few days events dispatch the foes very slowly and with almost no skill at all, bringing Chanandler to the brink of death before she was able to shrug of the damage with a lucky “So What” attitude. They later encountered a pack of wolves. Chanandler swiftly identified the leader of the pack with her investigative skills, eliminated it before it could make a move of its own and struck enough fear into the rest of the wolves causing them to run away. She then decided to hollow out the wolves and wear it as a hat/cloak from now on. During the journey something snapped in Keith Jnr’s mind and he developed Coprophagia (the love of devouring poop). Upon arriving in Falcon Hove they dove straight at the Inn to get some rest and a beer. They quickly struck up strong rapport with the bartender Charlaine Desiree and had an excellent night of drinking and it was a much needed moment of lightheartedness. During the revelry Chanandler noticed an elf hanging out with a orc and decided to investigate. They introduced themselves as Falwraith Bearchild and Agudash Tamewar, members of the famous bounty hunting guild: Seducers of the Boar. Chanandler introduced herself as Mrs Chanandler “Wolf Hat Dragon Man” Bong, the inventor of the Tequlia Slammer. Falwraith the elf was continuously won over by Chanandler due to what he percieved to be the incredible levels of ‘satire’ acheived from wearing a wolf. Agudash the orc introduced his Boar, “Boar”, and Chanandler forged a strong bond with them and the two spent the night with a couple of bottles of tequila. During the drinking, Chanandler accepted three bounties on behalf of the party: a rat problem at a local inn, the hunting of a monster that is stealing sheep from nearby farms, and the assassination of the mayor of Falcon Hove, Alorin Falquinor.
The next morning, the party awoke, to find Chanandler in a tequila coma. With no sign of Dwarven Gear around town, they decided to take this time to rest up the wounds sustained by Araldir and Keith Jnr. over the past few events. They were allowed two weeks of free board if they dealt with the rat problem in Ms Desiree’s basement. Keith Jnr. ripped open the trapdoor leading to the basement and peered into the hole counting around 10 rats and a rat king. As the rats began to crawl up the ladder to spread outside of the basement the party started their attack. Rats swarmed Araldirs legs as he pushed them back with his thunderous smite, which also unfortunately knocked Keith Jnr into the hole. As he was ravaged by rats Keith fought back and slowly the party slew the rodent hoard. Wiping the blood and guts off of their clothing, the pair returned to rest further as the rats managed to puncture one of Keith’s lungs. The party once again form a bond with Ms Desiree and she treats them to free meals and drinks whenever they are awake and hails them as heroes to any patron in her bar willing to listen.
Once night the party are awoken by the sound of a woman screaming, they grab their gear and rush down into the bar to find Ms Desiree pinned against the wall by two thugs. One of the thugs punches Ms Desiree in the face knocking her out as she slumps to the floor. The party leaps at the two men striking fierce and true to vanquish the thugs. Keith Jnr readies a powerful magic spell, firing an orb into the body of one of the thugs, but feels wild magic surge from the earth through his body and out of his hands in the form of a three missiles composed of magical energy which fired randomly out of Keiths fingertips. Keith and Araldir watched awestruck as the missiles struck the two bandits and Ms Desiree and all three humans were eradicated leaving only scorch marks against the walls and floor from where they were positioned. After grieving over the loss for no more than a minute, the party decided they couldn’t be discovered red-handed and needed to turn themselves in. They packed up and headed towards the mayor’s abode to come clean.
On arriving at the mayor’s home and being told to wait as he was in a meeting, Keith burst through the doors and demanded an audience. The mayor was sat across from a heavily armored paladin with long blonde hair who paid almost no attention to the group. In the meeting the party learnt of sheep and farmers going missing in the outskirts of town and decided to investigate. The paladin introduced herself as Skaar Pisor, an advisor for King Hackett and follower of the god Hextor, who has been dispatched to help eliminate the monsters plaguing the city. She turns her back on the party dragging her enormous broadsword along the ground with one hand.
Keith and Araldir head to the southern farm to ask questions about the sheep and farmers disappearing. They meet a friendly farmer named Bradley Welbourne who is terrified that the monster will take his wife and newborn from him, but he hasn’t seen the creature yet. Keith Jnr, pledges to protect the family from the monster. After a quick venture into the forest where they find some broken trees and bloodstains, they return to the farmhouse and position themselves for the stakeout.
Keith squats on the roof watching out and Araldir stands inside the door with his sword drawn. Every hour Keith notices a shadow drift across the distant treeline. He looks away from the field at one point to check the surroundings and when he turns back, one of the sheep is gone. He keeps his bow drawn and fixed on the remaining sheep as he hears footsteps around the side of the house. Araldir goes to investigate and using his darkvision recognises the figure to be Skaar herself, come to help fight the monster. Suddenly a creature jumps at the other sheep ripping into its neck and Keith looses his shaft at the foe. The monster and the dead sheep on the ground both rear up together as two more were-sheep stagger out of the forest on their hindlegs. Skaar leaps at the foes with araldir, both paladins invoking their respective gods’ power within their weapons. Skaar swings with little to no heed for Araldir during the battle with her wide swings knocking Araldir out leaving just Keith to battle the sheep. Keith Jnr musters another chromatic orb, and as he does suddenly triples in size, snapping his armor as it pings off of his massive body. Were-sheep enter the house as Keith smashes through the roof, too heavy to be supported by his vantage point anymore. Desperately scrambling to protect the family Keith smashes two of the were-sheep together, as he hears screams coming from the bedroom. A wild magic surge pulses through Keiths body and he teleports naked into the bedroom, just in time to witness the child dead in his cot, his ribs split apart and the wife with her throat having just been ripped out. As the were-sheep turns to the cowering farmer, Keith grabs the monster and throws it through the wall of the farmhouse. Keith rushes out and slays the final creature with his giant fists. As he helps Araldir back into consciousness the pair limp back into the house to comfort Bradley.
Bradley sobs uncontrollably over the corpses of his wife and child and claims that Skaar already took the payment and left. Araldir, with very little blood left in his body, began to rant about Hackett and how he sent these creatures to destroy the inhabitants of this village. Bradley was not pleased with this and chased our adventurers out with a broom.
The duo began to limp back into central Falcon Hove to have more than just stern words with Skaar.

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Iberis Hinton